Spiraling Thoughts of Despair

     “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion” (Proverbs 18:2). This scripture describes the intricacies of actually understanding a concept vs. only wanting to be heard and known for one’s opinion. Just like the intention behind this verse, the underground man seeks to garner attention. However, he eventually realizes the flaws of his mentality which leads him to a deep soul dive of spiraling thoughts. The underground man examines the reason why his relationships with other people always ends in a faulty manner. Through Notes from Underground, Fyodor Dostoevsky discloses that the underground man engages in intelligent superiority in relation to other people to gain a sense of power in spite of his inferiority complex, giving an excellent example of how a person stuck in his own subjective reality creates rifts in the normal functions of societal interaction.

    The underground man showcases his inferiority complex by creating overcomplicated scenarios in relation to other people. One of the ways he tries to upstage other individuals is by creating fictional scenarios to gather confidence. He tries to insert these figments of his imagination into his everyday life. The first instance Dostoevsky uses to describe the underground man’s mindset is when a cop emotionally disrespects him (51). The underground man wants the police officer to take as much notice of him as he does of the officer. He feels so far beneath people that he craves the slightest chance of being recognized. Dostoevsky further reveals the underground man’s character: “I could have even forgiven a beating, but I simply could not forgive his moving me and in the end just not noticing me” (50). In this circumstance, the underground man’s reaction compares to a child searching for attention, whether that attention be positive or negative. He continues to feel completely inferior because no one, not even strangers like the police officer, give him the time of day. To recover over this complex, he wants people to be affected by his actions. Furthermore, the underground man considers himself so intellectually superior that he believes himself worthy of a small amount of attention. When the underground man finally “stands up for himself” by brushing shoulders with the aforementioned officer, he creates the false illusion that the officer noticed this abrasion to feed into his own bruised ego. The underground man says, “He did not even look back and pretended not to notice but he only pretended, I’m sure of that. To this day, I’m sure of it” (56). The underground man believes that if he shows the slightest bit of retaliation, he will regain power in regard to his relationships with other people. This belief creates rifts in his relationships with strangers and even friends due to the often hostile nature of his mentality.

    The underground man treats his friends with disdain by overstating his intelligence in regard to their lack of academic intelligence. He despises his school fellow’s little interest in grander concepts, which leads to a low degree of relatability between his peers and himself. Dostoevsky further writes his character, “They had so little understanding of the most essential things, so little interest in the most impressive, startling subjects, that I began, willy-nilly, to regard them as beneath them” (68). The underground man’s interest in these subjects led him to consider himself at a more elevated status. Additionally, he did not want to succumb to his classmates’ more ignorant mindsets so he chose to distance himself from them further. Nevertheless, Zverkoy and his fellow schoolmates succeeded in making the underground man feel inferior despite the underground man’s tendency to lean into intellectual superiority. Dostoevsky discloses the schoolmates’ attitude towards the underground man, “Zverkov silently studied me as if I were a little bug. I lowered my eyes” (77). As much as the underground man  tries to always place himself above the attitudes of his peers, he always comes back feeling more lowly than them. He is not able to keep any solid friendships because of  his unhealthy mindset. The only person who reaches out and comprehends his mindset is the prostitute Liza.

    The underground man finally becomes aware of  his false reality from Liza. For example, he slightly breaks out of his unhealthy thought cycle when Liza shows herself capable of connecting with him on a mental level. Dostoevsky uncovers the underground man’s shift in mind: “So perhaps, the same thought was wandering through her mind as she was peering at me just now? So she, too, is already capable of certain thoughts?” (94). This moment is the first instance in which readers see the underground man actually relating and considering that other people may feel like him- may have thoughts like him. He finds himself genuinely surprised that Liza is actually capable of the same thoughts that run through his head. She is also one of the first, if only, people to make him further realize his own perception of himself. She ascertains his unhappiness despite his great lengths to present a heroic image. The underground man says, “She understood from it all what a woman, if she loves sincerely, always understands before anything else—namely, that I myself was unhappy” (125). For the first time in his life, the underground man is met with complete understanding. Liza tries to connect with him and show him that he is seen. His own vulnerabilities keep him from communicating with Liza as she does with him, instead choosing to cause hurt and pain, which creates further rifts in the underground man’s connection to society.

    The underground man is useful in understanding the false perceptions one creates of themselves. The actions he takes in his life shows the dynamics of placing oneself above others while having an inferiority complex. Readers can learn from this text the dangers of an unhealthy thought process. Furthermore, readers can learn that while self-assurance is needed, one does not have to hurt others to gain any sort of confidence.